Soledad's Fight for Recovery

Hey Everyone ! I know I am super negative right now, but well that is how it has to be! Thanks so much everyone for your comments recently. They are helping to keep me sane. Here is the thing, I am really really angry with Greg. He is in exams right now and hasn't really be home before 11pm for like the last 2 weeks. For the two weeks before that it was 8 or 9pm. Keep in mind we leave the house at 8am at the latest every morning! So I have been going it alone. At first it was fine, I would go to work, go work out, make dinner and then he would be home and we would have some time together, but now I barely see him and when I do he is distant and stressed. I understand exams. I get the stress, I have been there! So that doesn't bother me so much. I have been keeping the house hold running cause he is so busy, again I don't mind, but I WOULD like a little recognition!You see tonight is his last night of exams. He is done at 4:30 or so and we agreed we would go out with his law school friends tonight! Not a problem. Super fun! i understand how important it is to drink a beer with those who have shared in your horrific exam experience, but I figured it would be at like 7pm. So after his last exam we would go home, maybe....HAVE SEX or at least snuggle and then go out. But he told me last night at 11:30pm that they are starting at 4:30pm. I was pretty upset and now I feel like one of those whiny women who has to force her spouse to spend time with her. I told Greg how I was feeling and that I was mad at him and he said "Ok I will come home at 4:30 then" I was like "NO WAY MISTER! I now have plans to do pilates and go for a run and then meet all y'all!" He couldn't understand why I didn't want him to come home. But it was like I was FORCING him too! I wanted him to do it cause he wanted to see me. Also I am still bummed out about grad school and it is starting to get me down again and he hasn't really had time to help me take my mind off of it cause I got the news at Easter and then BAM! it was exam time. Needless to say I feel like a big fat slob. I am pissed off and bingry/purgey (Greg if you read this I am not blaming you for my ED habits). FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK. I feel like ass! Whiny, like I can't get out of my head. You know that feeling when a loud repetitive noise goes on forever and you want to FREAK OUT, SCREAM etc? That is how i feel RIGHT NOW!