So I was not accepted to school Y or Z. I am third on the wait list for school X. I am definatly reapplying next year. I will NOT be beaten by this and I will NOT give up. I didn't apply for funding, which made a difference I think as I had no potential for external scholarships. I am feeling ok right now but let me tell you how much my weekend sucked ASS! Wait...now I don't know where to start. Ok by Thursday I basically knew that this year was not going to be the year for PhD, BUT I had to wait all weekend to know for sure. There was some DEFINITE b/ping at first. But I got on the treadmill, researched jobs and talked and cried and talked and cried. Greg was AMAZING. He didn't get into law school the first time around so he knew exactly how I was feeling. He didn't try to paint a rosy picture. He just let me cry and freak out. He was wonderful! I got to mourn my plans for next year and now I am making new ones now but it was a rough ass journey to here. Waiting to hear back from grad school was very much like being weighed. I was essentially asking someone to quantify my academic capacity and I totally made it about my self worth. It was like a scale, addictive and destructive as hell. But I am feeling much better. I think getting wait listed was good. I least I know I was not INSANE to apply. I also emailed my MA advisor and she said not to worry. I am smart enough to do it and I just need to take this year, apply for funding and take some courses; i.e. don't give up! That really really helped. So I'm still moving to Toronto and I am already applying for jobs and other school programs. My two fav options are: counselling program for assaulted women and this outreach job with Latin American women. I have applied for both so please keep your fingers crossed for me. I am doing ok with all of this. I am surprised, honestly, how well I am doing. I thought I would be significantly more distraught, but I'm not. This is the first time in my life I have ever not gotten what I went out for. It is weird. But it happens to everyone and it is how you get up off the mat that counts right? So yeah. I am ok. Kinda waiting around to see if the other shoe will drop and I will freak out. But full of hope right now.
We were biking....hence the helmet
I'm sorry that you didn't get in, but you seem to be keeping a positive attitude about it all, which is a great thing. It will all work out for you!!!
All things happen for a reason right, and hey there is I'm positive a good reason for this, there just may be someone out there that you may come across in the next year that you (sweet Sole) can change their life!!!
Love to you sweets!
I am so sorry that you've had this disappointment but I am so proud of how you are handling it. You're an amazing woman and you will be a wonderful Ph.D. I have a feeling that the next year is going to be absolutely amazing for you and the people who are lucky enough to have you in their lives.
xoxo
Sarah
you know, that initial news is a real bummer. and then right away I follow your passion and resolve and I start getting really excited for what this year WILL be about, and how some of the best years for anyone EVER came about when the initial "plans" weren't the plan after all, and they built instead something new and special and...just something that never would have come to be.
with someone as creative and full or life as you are, I think that sounds really, really exciting. Onwards and upwards, huh?
you are such a strong lady--you just keep getting stronger. I have so much faith in you.
xo
ae
i'm so sorry to hear that you didn't get in, but also so thrilled to hear how positive you sound about it all.
i'm not terribly superstitious, but sometimes when something like this happens to me...i try to see the positive (and you're already doing it!)...and think to myself that there MUST be a reason why this happened...it sounds like you're ready to take on the next year with lots of energy, and be that much more ready for grad school when it comes around this time next year!
yeah!