I am thinking about removing meat from my diet. I know I know you are all SCREAMING retricting in your heads, but here is the thing I find when I eat meat I am more purgy then when I eat fruit, nuts and veggies I am much happier with the way I feel and look. Plus I see this step as a way of "starting over" with food. Of creating a new and healthy relationship with what and the way in which I eat. I am going to spend the next couple of days researching this on the internet I will update you all on my progress. Please let me know if you have any advice. Confession- 2 months ago I bought a scale. It stayed in my closet far away for a while, now it is in the bathroom. IT needs to go! It is starting to control me again.............I told GReg I have to chuck it. I think that is tonight's project. I haven't owned a scale for YEARS....I thought I could handel it. I can't! The thing is I would like to lose some wieght...so I am eating better(ISH) and running. But to confirm my efforts are working I NEED to see that number move! I CRAVE seeing that number move. I cannot trust myself to be healthy lest I be FAT and just not know it cause the scale didn't tell me. Seriously I have NO concept of my own body. NONE what so ever. I was looking at pics from grad school when I thought I was pretty stable (re my weight) and I was TONS bigger then than I am now. ANd I didn't really realize it. I need the scale to tell me where I am at. AND I need to move past this. By not owning a scale I was ignoring the urge to move that number down, but I was still binging and purging. I was almost shrouding or burrying my need to lose within the b/p cycle. Now I have managed to pull myself out of it a bit.......and voila I got healthier, but now I was to lose wieght. A VICIOUS CYCLE. So I want to see if I can maintain my healthy eating without the reassurance of the scale....without the reassurance that I am NOT gaining............cause really gaining when your relationship with food is healthy SHOULD be ok with me. ....fuck this next step is gonna be a brutal one isn't it????? ARGH!
We were biking....hence the helmet
Hey PTC.
I KNOW I KNOW! And caring is NOT hypocritical!!!!!! I am glad you are here for me.
Sole
So I say, cut down on the meat and see if it makes you feel any better. See how it goes. Don't cut it out for ED reasons.
I had to fight with treatment people about treating me and working around my diet. Because NO, I was not going to fucking eat meat EVER again, disorder or no disorder. This is my decision for life.
Just make sure you know why you're really doing it. And I wouldn't just quit cold turkey (no pun intended!)...wean off and see how you feel.
As Jana pointed out, many healthcare professionals reduce veganism, etc to the ed, and for me it's absolutely not the case. In fact, vegan food is often higher in cals than their dairy equivalents... Fortunately I work with a N and T and MD who understand and respect my decisions and they have never pushed me to eat animal products. (In fact, for every purge-free week that I have my T rewards me by eating veggie for a week! Not very conventional, I realise!).\
As for the scale.. ditch it! It is the best thing I have done. It is hard, but you cannot determine your worth on a number which you;ve arbitrarily decided is okay for you. You are worth so much more than that.
xoxox
Z
I want to thank you all for bringing your experiences with veggie eating to the table (so to speak). I have spent the last couple of days reseraching this and talking to Greg about it. I have made the decision for right now NOT to eat red meant ( this includes pork and lamb). but I will continue to eat chicken and fish( at least until I can be sure that I carry out this "diet??" ugh...let's say food choice, in a healthy way). I had an N for a long time so I am thinking about placing a call to her and getting her to email me so info/have a session with her. I really want to see this as a new relationship with food instead of a way to lose weight.
Again thanks for the input. You all had insights that helped me a lot. I appreciate your values and ethics around meat eating and of course the support!!!
Sole