Soledad's Fight for Recovery

Hi Everyone. It seems like I have been experiencing a lot of anger lately. I don't really know where it is coming from but there you have it. Today I am angry!!!!! I had a VERY frustrating meeting this am with some very frsutrating people. Unfortunatnly this is all I can say on the subject. Also, I have been feeling guilty about my mother paying for stuff for me. In the past couple of weeks my parents have given us a new suitcase, my mom has bought me two new books and a new running jacket. I don't know why she is gifting me so much but she is.........and I feel guilty about it. Like I am not a good enough daughter and I don't deserve these things she is giving me. It makes me want to cry. Does this happen to anyone else? There is a lot going on. Greg and I leave for Toronto on Saturday and I am nervous cause he has such HUGE interviews and because I am meeting with grad directors at some schools for PhD. We promise that things will settle down once we get home, but honestly, I have a HUGE forum the next week and focus groups to do. Greg has exams, then Christmas and then new semester, another forum, PhD apps are due, midterms..............................................There was this saying Gilly and I used to have when we would get overwhelmed it was "poof"....like "poof" my heart is broken...not even enough energy left for an explosion. Well this is how I am feeling. I mean IF, and this is a big IF, I get into PhD Greg and I will spend next year apart (sob)......everything is happening tooo fast! I need a hug! Life is dragging me behind it today! BUT so far no purging! Wish me luck AS I WISH ALL YOU LUCK, with the Halloween candy!