So like are you a Lesbian? and otherways people make me feel fat
Posted by Soledad at 11/26/2007 09:45:00 AMI work for a feminist collective I am assertive I use the term "partner" instead boyfriend/fiancee or any other heterosexist language. I think gender is fluid thing ( no not bodily fluid, but a fluid concept.... depending on one's personal taste, life expriences, whatever....) I vounteer at an abortion clinic My running group knows all these things about me ( minus my political understandings of gender) I love my running group. They are completely seperate from the rest of my life. I love them for it. So I am running with this middle aged gentleman who is from PEI and I ask him what part. He says:" (greg's town) " I say: "no kidding my fiancee is from there". He says: What's her name? I say: "Greg". He says: "Oh" (runs off) In my eating disordered mind: He thinks you are a lesbian, therefore you are mannish, therefore you are fat. ( to any lesbians reading this i know lesbians are not, as a group, fatter or skinnier than any other sector in society) In reality: He thought I was gay cause of my assertiveness, PC langauge and prolly cause I said Angelina was hot. Ah ED! You are quite the mindfuck!
xo
Sole
I didn't really get your comment and you prolly didn't get mine.....gay marriage is legal in Canada. SO saying fiance doesn't really explain one's sexuality:)
xo
Sole
It's legal in some states here, too.. in fact, the lovely Fia is engaged and is getting married to her lovely lovely partner next year....
We have similar views on gender and sexuality, I see, and I have been mistaken for someone who identifies as gay, and while I'd never rule anything out (you are after all, only as gay or straight as your last sexual act!), I am married to a man and have been for quite a while...
When someone thinks I could be gay - because I use the term partner, etc - I always think of it fondly...mostly because it speaks to the rising acceptance of same sex relationships in society. Believe me, I don't think we've come all to far on that front, but it gives me some hope.
Anyway, hon, it has nothing to do with your weight!Just an indication that you have integrity and hold true to living your beliefs... That's to be celebrated.
Love Z
Congrats on having a successful marriage! and thanks for the support!
"you are only as gay or straight as your last sexual act"
how I love you.
sole, I hear you on this, I do. I don't identify as gay OR straight, really, because I think it's all too fluid to stick a label on it, but I am engaged to a woman. That doesn't keep my self-abusive tendencies from caving to societal stereotypes when they offer an opportunity to beat myself up (did that make any sense?! I mean that I know you don't think the things you said about yourself about lesbians or even about YOU - but that part of your brain that wants nothing more than to be nasty to you will always take advantage of a situation like that when the opportunity arises).
heh. I don't think that made my point any clearer, did it?!
I like what you have to say on gender/sexuality and am adding myself to the list of people who think similarly. I think it's fantastic that you are a) acknowledging how you reacted to the comment, and b) giving yourself a reality check (and asking for the same from us here!)
be good to you -
Fia
And I guess I don't see an issue with using the term partner, because I did too, in Canada. But I remember coming back to the States and yes, people here assume they mean a same-sex partner.
I like your way of explaining sexuality and even gender. I, too, believe it's fluid.
And, Fia, like you I don't associate with being gay or straight. I am just simply human. I have enough labels to last me a lifetime already.
Recovery means progress, not perfection.
Sophie