Soledad's Fight for Recovery

Hey Everyone and Happy Thanksgiving to all you Americans:) I have been keeping up to date on all of your blogs but I have NOT felt like posting. To be honest I STILL don't feel like posting, but I was worried if I didn't at least check in I might never post again! Booo! PhD applications have taken over my life. I am a woman obsessed. I cannot think, work on or dream about anything else. I am insane! HELP ME! I am terrified I will not get in. Right now I am in the Law library far far far away from Greg working on a paper for PhD submission. It is coming along nicely I think. My stress levels are pretty good right now. I seem to be managing ok food wise, although I would like nothing more right now than to literally swim through a pint of ice cream with my mouth open and the purge out all my anxieties. Needless to say I am not doing this and strearing CLEAR of ice cream! I cannot afford to allow my concerntration to drop one tiny bit and b/p (as you all know) is a death knell for the concentration. I have to say that since grad school ended, and I got a better handel on my ED, I have been able to work harder, longer and better than ever before. Talk about postive reinforcement. I am starting to think that any trouble I had with writing in graduate school had more to do with a lack of concerntration thanks to MIA! Talk about a nasty ass cycle....get up-stress-b/p-not be able to do any work due to concentration-stress-b/p and on and on and on! I am running about three times a week right now which is one time less than I would like, but I am averaging about 20kms a week, not great, but the closer I get to the half-marathon the more the mileage will go up so I am trying not to stress. I am really busy, something has got to give and it is NOT gonna be these applications. Running is awesome. We did sprints yesterday and felt like I was flying:)!!!!! So that is it for me, Greg and I are going to see "American Gangster" tonight. It should be really good and allow me to kinda shut off my brain (at least for a bit). Hope everyone is doing well! xos to all of you