Hello All! I have been AWOL as of late....I just haven't wanted to blog. To be totally honest I have been dealing with some pretty heavy stuff. Greg and I had a really big "talk" about how I do not include him in my ED. I had a little relapse when I got home and he let it go on without telling me he knew..........it ended in a fiery heated argument when he told me that this girl we both know was "hot". To be fair I asked if he thought she was..........ugh! Anyways he wants to be included in my ED recovery (ahhh scary), so I am trying to let him see this part of me a bit more. But it is like having someone else who can hold me accountable! It feels like giving over some control... Also Greg's parents are visiting this weekend and we went out to a BUFFET!!!!! AHHHHH!!!!! last night! You will all be proud of me! I did not binge or purge. I ate a lot of Salad, but I managed to do very well and even had a few chicken balls. This afternoon I took his step-mom shopping and we both bought some clothes and I even tried on some fancy dresses...some where nice, some not so much. Then at dinner tonight I was telling my mom about this dresses and L (greg's stepmom) said " Soledad tried on a few dresses, some where really bad and as tiny as she is they made her look fat". To my credit I laughed and agreed with her, but I ate very little for supper....I am trying not to stress about this.....perspective?????? THEN at dinner when we were leaving my mom says to Greg's folks " we will see more of you if this all works out"........................WTF????????????????????????????????????BITCH! She claims it was about us moving and them visiting more....but I don't know....I think she thinks she was being "realistic". Whatever. I am not letting her shit all over my happiness.
We were biking....hence the helmet
I think if you can find a way to leave those remarks behind, though, you'll be glad you did. I'm learning that holding onto a resentment against someone for something like this is like taking poison myself but waiting for them to die.
It's you and Greg who are building your own partnership right now -- and it sounds like he truly wants to be full partners. That's scary in this context but I think a good sign for your future together.
xoxo
Sarah
Don't stress about the Step-Mom's comment. Sounds like her point was "Some of them were so incredibly awful that they even made tiny little you look fat." In no way was she implying that you are fat. It was an additional qualifying statement to make sure everyone understood the full severity of the ugliness of the dresses...hahaha, you know what I mean. But it's like, the word fat comes out and then in your head flashing lights go off and it's all over! In Shoppers on Saturday night, the esthetician (sp?) told me I should start using eye cream. WTF!!?? Do I look old! Her point was: the younger you start using it the better. But that's not what I heard!!! I immediately flipped out to Jason.
Your mom was definitely out of line. For sure. What a hurtful thing to say. What are Greg's parents supposed to think about a comment like that?! Not only was it hurtful and unnecessary towards YOU it was in poor taste in general! She's your mom, and you are beyond the point where she can be incredulous about your chosen life plans. My mom does the same thing. She did it when I told her what I wanted to study at university. She did it when I told her I was moving. She did it when I told her I was going to buy a care. She even did it when I broke up with Shawnessey! It is her way of saying to me "Are you sure you know what you are getting yourself into? Are you sure you've thought it through adequately?" and not "I secretly think this will fail because you suck." But you are an adult now and fully capable of thinking things through as required. She needs to know that comments like that would best be kept to herself. And you need to tell her. This is sort of "I'm not sure you can get a puppy because I don't know if you're responsible enough to take care of it yet." situation. But you ARE responsible enough and you need to tell her that she has to have faith in you!
Wow sweetie, isn't it funny how we will totally create a situation were we are asking to get pissed at our partners......There are lots of hotties out there babe, but you are one as well and greg is with and loves you and it is a good thing for him to be involved in you recovery......Scary but really good.!
As far as his mom, man the things people say, especially when they don't think first....Not to be excused but maybe forgiven.?
YOur mom well nothing to say on that comment, I totally would have taken it the same way sweetie!!!
I have missed you and am glad you are back.....Remember how amazing you are!
xoxo Lauren
Hopefully I'll be able to do the SAME thing on Thanksgiving. I'm a little worried about all the food & being around family is always stressful, but it totally helps when I know there are people out there dealing with the same issues & they're DEALING with them the right way.
Great entry! I'm new to your blog but congratulations on your engagement. You & Greg look very happy together!
Erin
Maybe your mom is just being extra cautious because you're so young and in love. I have no doubt you and Greg will have a wonderful life together, but maybe your mom wants to make you feel grounded a little bit since you're so floating on air right now.
Let Greg in more on your feelings and recovery. I know he won't run away and just wants to support you. I hope youkeep doing better!
love you,
~ej