ok so it is 7:30 am and I am about to go to pilates and when I get back here I will post more about being discharged from therapy, but I wanted to ask the following question. How do I not care about how I look? I feel this is one of the final pieces of my recovery. How do I not care about my appearance. There is power in beauty and thinness; the way people treat you, the way people look at you,,,,,but it is all about external. External affirmation, external admiration false false false. But I want that and I want to NOT want it. Advice???
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That, and I spend time volunteering at the animal shelter. The dogs I walk there don't give a crap how I look. They find value in the fact that I clean their cage, take them out for a walk, toss a ball for them, etc. They wag their tails and love love love me - and it helps me to remember the parts about myself I love the most.
And then, also, finding a bunch of people who value honest, true, deep and intimate relationships, not just superficial, going out, small talk, "what do you do" type of bullshit - finding those deeper friendships and having them reflect back to me my personal worth, that's helped too.
Oh, and a shitload of pharmaceuticals. :)
And it's still a regular question and battle for me, but I have to say, it's getting a crapload easier.
love,
lulu
I am such an ass! I totally didn't realize that cause you have always been on my "list".
Sole
thinking of you
xoxo
Hugs,
DG
If people around you truly only care about beauty and thinness, then they have issues themselves. Being thin or "beautiful" are merely perceptions. One person's definition of these is most definitely different than someone else's.
We all want validation in life, just as we all want love. That's normal, no matter how self-confident one is (or pretends to be). But who says that validation has to be tied to a number, a hair-do, what car we drive, what job we hold or the house we live in?
When we truly love ourselves, we don't care what others think of us. Why? Because their perceptions (or what we think their perceptions of us are) no longer matter. We are all that matter. And we know that people love us for us, not for our external beauty.
But, when we truly do care about ourselves, it's interesting how we have this amazing aura around ourselves. We've all met that person at a lecture, school or have just seen them on the bus. We all want to meet them because they carry themselves in a way you know they are confident - and beautiful - inside and out.