Soledad's Fight for Recovery

I leave for Toronto tomorrow. I can't believe it!! I am terrified, what if I don't get a job???? AHHHHHHH!!! I finished my contract here on Thursday. I am sad to leave that place, I learned a great deal about myself there I think. Anyways, we are all packed and we have been to the dump to rid ourselves of a few things. God I hate the dump. It stinks and it reminds me off all that we discard. Also I am feeling guilty about leaving cause my mother is here and while her sister and mother are in town my dad is away and she is rattling around that big ole house alone until June. Greg does not understand the mother/daughter guilt phenomenon! I am sure at least some of you do. I finished with my T on Friday and she is convinced I will do great. I am convinced that I did not earn my discharge from therapy. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I am holding it together,but I am also cutting myself some slack because there is a lot going on with the move etc. On a sad note I was at the house of a family I used to babysit for last week. This is a family of three girls and they are now 18,16,and 14!! Crazy! I was their babysitter from age 12-18, when the eldest was 5. Also they live next door to my folks, we are still close. Anyways the 16 year old has been having these weird attacks where she starts to shake and her heart starts to pound and she cannot breathe well and her eyes roll back in her head. They last 15-30 mins. Drs. are saying it is a panic attack, I am not convinced as when she comes out of it she is flash backed to her childhood....anyone ever experience this before??? MRIs and EEGs have been clean. HAPPY BIRTHDAY FEISTY!!!!!!XOOXOXOXOX