I have an ear infection and it is making me a huge bitch. I cannot hear out of one side of my head. I can actually FEEL the blockage in my canal. It is like having an ear canal tumour and it is nasty! I am disgusting! This whole thing is making me feel really fat cause I am sick and I don't want to exercise. I find as an EDer, when my body betrays me by getting sick it is harder to deal with then it would be for someone "normal". I already hate my body so when it goes and gets sick I feel like the thing I hate most in the world, besides food, is betraying me. I regularly feel disconnected from my body so when I get sick I feel ambushed, like I am being attacked by my body. I don't know my body well enough to heed the warning signs of an oncoming cold, flu, infection...... so when I get sick it is like all of a sudden I am incapacitated. And then I feel fat. I imagine I feel fat as "fat" is the feeling I get when I don't feel good enough or worthy enough and since my body is punishing me by getting sick I must have done something wrong. I then punish my body by b/ping. On the surface it is cause I feel fat, in actuality it is because I feel unworthy. This is then compounded by having to take time off of work and then gym. I am at work right now....I would like to go home and sleep. But I don't feel I am a good enough employee to do this. Also Greg has not taken my ear infection seriously and has not babied me sufficiently! ok......summary...I feel crappy!
We were biking....hence the helmet
Oh, kiddo. That sounds miserable!! I'm sorry you're sick.
E/N/T ailments can take over, can't they? And people (Greg, maybe?) sometimes forget when they're not going through it themselves, or don't understand in the first place if they haven't experienced it.
I used to get ear infections all of the time when I was young. All through swimming lessons and weekends at the beach.
Oh, UGH, just typing that made me remember how awful I felt. Yuck, yuck.
And, when you're experiencing an upset with your health or body and are as a result hyper-aware of the discomfort of illness, I think it's understandable that the body discomfort would work its way in somehow.
Your poor body, your poor you.
Try to fight the inclination to hate on either, okay?
With warmth and soothing thoughts of comfort....
Please try to be gentle with you and know you are on my mind BIGTIME today!!!
xoxo
Love you,
Frida
xoxo