Soledad's Fight for Recovery

So after 11000000 hours on the train we are HOME in my province. We will stay are for 4 days and then head to PEI to visit w/ Greg's fam. I fly outta PEI back to Toronto. Seeing my parents is great, but I am thinner than I was when I left for Toronto in May and I can tell that pleases them....ugh. Ate supper though with no issues. GO ME! While I am home I plan on shopping, sleeping, reading and sleeping. I am dealing with some stress right now so please help me relax Stressful things: My half bro is not doing so well right now. He has mental health issues and is in the hospital. I tried to talk to my dad about it but he really doesn't want my help. I think he wants me to be a distraction not someone who he lays his burden on, but I have lots of experience working with individuals with mental health issues. I don't need to be protected from it I see it all the time. UGH. Don't know what to do here but listen to Dad when he talks. My new roommate has emailed 3 times and called like 4 times. The last time she sent me this VERY bitchy email about how dirty I left the apt and how disappointed she was. Here is the thing...I felt it was clean. I def. put a lot of effort into cleaning it. Her comments made me feel like I had somehow done something incredibly wrong like forgetting to clean or not knowing what clean really is. Then she emailed me back to say the buzzer was not set up for her number, which is something I told her TWO days ago would not be set up until Sept. 1st when her lease actually starts. I left her number with the landlord (who SUCKS) and asked him to put it in, turns out it was the wrong number I left him. Now I have to get a hold of him to let him know and I feel like a bad roommate/landlord. I feel worthless and angry and like it is my fault. But she is being totally unreasonable. She has been there for 1 day how can she expect everything to be good to go already? FUCK. I hope this isn't how it is going to be. I totally cried in front of Greg and my parents. I SUCK!!!!!! Why do I feel so bad about someone else's reactions? Why does it make me feel so awful? Why do I always envision the absolute worst thing happening, like me coming home and finding all my stuff wrecked or me getting evicted because of her, or me losing her as a roommate and having to find a new one. WHY WHY WHY do I have this anxiety. I HATE IT! HATE IT! Why can't I be normal and just respond with a regular amount of concern instead of automatically assuming the worst will happen, FUCK having major anxiety issues. FUCK~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!